Funny AIM Conversations

I don't know why, but lately some of my AIM conversations have been absolutely hilarious. Thanks to Adium keeping a log on all my conversations, I can bring them to you!

Here's one that just happened, and it relates to this article:

12:30:27 AM Kyle Weisenstein: sad

12:30:34 AM Matthew DeGoey: not really

12:30:51 AM Kyle Weisenstein: from a sociological standpoint it kinda is

12:31:26 AM Matthew DeGoey: but gives good insight into how the brain functions, and what stimulates it into retaining information better

12:31:52 AM Matthew DeGoey: why do you think kids in our age bracket can remember practically every little facet of oregon trail, but dammit if we could name all the prepositions?

12:32:15 AM Kyle Weisenstein: because oregon trail is fucking amazing

12:32:18 AM Kyle Weisenstein: and prepositions arent



Another one from earlier today:


3:32:16 PM Pogo: whats the virus protector that u use

3:32:29 PM Matthew DeGoey: well, i'm on a mac, so, OS X



And now the piece de resistance. This is an argument between my friend/co-worker Adrian and I over who is gayer: Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid, or Link from The Legend of Zelda. This is a conversation only huge video game nerds can have, and at this particular hour of the morning.


2:44:01 AM Matthew DeGoey: so i guess when brawl comes out you'll be playing as snake?

2:49:16 AM Adrian Zentarsky: ya all the time, unless they make him suck

2:49:31 AM Adrian Zentarsky: then ill stick with ness and young link

2:50:02 AM Matthew DeGoey: pshh

2:50:10 AM Matthew DeGoey: i'm a real fan, i stick with link to the bitter end

2:50:31 AM Adrian Zentarsky: well snake could take link anyday

2:50:38 AM Matthew DeGoey: whatev

2:50:50 AM Adrian Zentarsky: he could

2:51:03 AM Matthew DeGoey: he could take your MOM any day

2:51:07 AM Adrian Zentarsky: he would kill link before link would see him

2:51:13 AM Adrian Zentarsky: ya he could

2:51:42 AM Adrian Zentarsky: i mean come on he has a sword

2:51:51 AM Matthew DeGoey: until link transforms into a wolf, and comes up to him all unsuspectingly

2:51:54 AM Matthew DeGoey: and mauls his ass

2:52:01 AM Adrian Zentarsky: my mom has a kitchen knife that she doesnt know how to use

2:52:12 AM Adrian Zentarsky: turning into a woulf is so gay

2:52:22 AM Matthew DeGoey: until you're killed by one

2:52:26 AM Matthew DeGoey: or you kill someone as a wolf

2:52:39 AM Adrian Zentarsky: last one i played was ocerina of time

2:52:46 AM Matthew DeGoey: ocArina

2:52:51 AM Adrian Zentarsky: who cares

2:52:56 AM Matthew DeGoey: <-- zelda nut

2:52:58 AM Matthew DeGoey: hence, i do

2:53:06 AM Matthew DeGoey: it's my favoritest game of all time

2:53:08 AM Adrian Zentarsky: zelda nutted on u?

2:53:19 AM Adrian Zentarsky: thats sick

2:53:24 AM Adrian Zentarsky: is that even possible?

2:53:33 AM Matthew DeGoey: how pussy is it that you like a character who can't take someone on face-to-face, and has to sneak up on them?

2:53:36 AM Matthew DeGoey: fucking pussy

2:53:58 AM Adrian Zentarsky: he can take people face to face

2:54:07 AM Matthew DeGoey: yet he prefers to sneak up on them

2:54:07 AM Matthew DeGoey: gay

2:54:28 AM Matthew DeGoey: then he looks like he's anally raping them when he hauls their carcass off. so you also like a necrophile

2:54:28 AM Adrian Zentarsky: i have beat the shit out of somany guards by punching them

2:54:35 AM Adrian Zentarsky: or sliting throats

2:55:03 AM Adrian Zentarsky: you cant rape with close on

2:55:07 AM Adrian Zentarsky: duh

2:55:12 AM Matthew DeGoey: okay, dry hump

2:55:19 AM Matthew DeGoey: either way, it's gay as fuck

2:55:26 AM Adrian Zentarsky: well link wears tights and talks to faries

2:55:42 AM Adrian Zentarsky: so think twice before you point the gaydar

2:56:02 AM Matthew DeGoey: talking to a fairy is one thing, actually humping a guy as a guy is a completely different thing

2:56:15 AM Matthew DeGoey: navi's just there for advice and shit

2:56:18 AM Matthew DeGoey: but she's annoying as fuck

2:56:48 AM Adrian Zentarsky: ya i know, i played alittle bit of mojora's mask

2:57:06 AM Matthew DeGoey: midna was a bad ass partner though

2:57:11 AM Matthew DeGoey: total bitch

2:57:28 AM Adrian Zentarsky: i dont know there names

2:57:30 AM Matthew DeGoey: she's all, "i'll help you, but first you have to help yourslef. afterwards you're my bitch"

2:57:50 AM Matthew DeGoey: midna is the little imp girl who partners with link in twilight princess

2:58:02 AM Adrian Zentarsky: o

2:58:11 AM Matthew DeGoey: seroiusly though, she's awesome

2:58:16 AM Matthew DeGoey: she calls you lazy, good for nothing and shit

2:58:19 AM Matthew DeGoey: she's a total bitch

2:58:27 AM Adrian Zentarsky: thats sweet

2:58:40 AM Matthew DeGoey: and your guy humps corpses

2:58:57 AM Adrian Zentarsky: that was in metal gear solid 2

2:59:11 AM Adrian Zentarsky: raiden did that all the time with his naked cartwheels

2:59:32 AM Matthew DeGoey: see? kojima can't even come up with his own names

2:59:48 AM Matthew DeGoey: raiden borrowed from mortal kombat. otacon borroed from otakon

2:59:50 AM Matthew DeGoey: lame

2:59:51 AM Adrian Zentarsky: he pronounced it differently

2:59:57 AM Matthew DeGoey: whatever

3:00:16 AM Adrian Zentarsky: ya well i have never seen link eat a raw snake

3:00:25 AM Matthew DeGoey: plus, he's ending the series. because he know's it's bad and is tired of sony making him do it all the time

3:00:41 AM Matthew DeGoey: that's because he goes into people's homes and steals their health hearts

3:00:47 AM Adrian Zentarsky: sure if its so bad why does it sell so much

3:01:04 AM Matthew DeGoey: i want a game, not a fucking movie with brief interactive moments

3:01:05 AM Adrian Zentarsky: ya getting hearts is so gay

3:01:13 AM Adrian Zentarsky: it is a game

3:01:22 AM Adrian Zentarsky: you can do alot more on the side

3:01:32 AM Matthew DeGoey: like humping dead henchmen!

3:01:37 AM Adrian Zentarsky: and than it is so fun fucking around with the stealth

3:01:49 AM Adrian Zentarsky: no i slit their throats

3:01:59 AM Matthew DeGoey: yeah, i bet snake enjoys "fucking around" all "stealth"

3:02:01 AM Matthew DeGoey: i get it!

3:02:07 AM Matthew DeGoey: he likes it better when they don't see him coming!

3:02:12 AM Matthew DeGoey: he likes kickers and screamers!

3:02:27 AM Matthew DeGoey: wants it raw and rough, unrehearsed

3:02:39 AM Adrian Zentarsky: whats the last metal gear u played?

3:02:46 AM Matthew DeGoey: twin snakes for the gamecube

3:02:52 AM Matthew DeGoey: first and only

3:03:00 AM Adrian Zentarsky: ya u missed out on 3

3:03:05 AM Adrian Zentarsky: and portable opps

3:03:08 AM Matthew DeGoey: did i really?

3:03:09 AM Matthew DeGoey: oh no!

3:03:17 AM Adrian Zentarsky: they were the best

3:03:20 AM Matthew DeGoey: i spend 6 hours in a jungle just to get to the main objective!

3:03:24 AM Adrian Zentarsky: the first one sucks in comparison

3:03:52 AM Matthew DeGoey: know why they dropped him off so far from the operation point?

3:03:54 AM Adrian Zentarsky: its fun in the jungle except for the one boss fight

3:03:59 AM Matthew DeGoey: they hoped he'd DIE ALONG THE WAY

3:04:25 AM Adrian Zentarsky: no it was so he could be badass and eat snakes

3:04:41 AM Matthew DeGoey: yeah, he probably pictured them as a big dick or something

3:04:56 AM Matthew DeGoey: mmmm, yummy, he would think to himself as he sunk his teeth in

3:05:14 AM Matthew DeGoey: guns are gay too

3:05:20 AM Adrian Zentarsky: how?

3:05:55 AM Matthew DeGoey: total pussy to kill a guy from far out. at least link gets into the throws of battle and pits his strength against his opponent. snake just finds a hole through some cover, and fires, guy he kills doesn't even know who killed him

3:06:00 AM Matthew DeGoey: so it's a dick move, and a pussy one at that

3:06:38 AM Matthew DeGoey: link gets down and dirty in a fight

3:06:44 AM Matthew DeGoey: stabbing guys and monsters

3:07:16 AM Adrian Zentarsky: well link doesnt kill brutally enough

3:07:25 AM Matthew DeGoey: he doesn't have to

3:07:29 AM Matthew DeGoey: he follows bushido

3:07:35 AM Matthew DeGoey: you know? honor

3:07:39 AM Adrian Zentarsky: and i have no idea

3:07:41 AM Adrian Zentarsky: o

3:07:52 AM Matthew DeGoey: why do you need to kill someone brutally? kiling them is killing them

3:07:58 AM Adrian Zentarsky: well snake does what he has to

3:08:20 AM Matthew DeGoey: yeah, hides behind a tanks, shoots a guy from 100' out, then goes over and humps their dead body

3:08:23 AM Adrian Zentarsky: and 4 is going to be the best

3:08:44 AM Adrian Zentarsky: no, when i play i usually go right up to them

3:08:48 AM Adrian Zentarsky: and i leave the body

3:09:04 AM Adrian Zentarsky: and if i do move it i make them give me oral instead

3:09:10 AM Matthew DeGoey: yeah, so more men can come after you, and you can have a big gay orgy with dead bodies

3:09:32 AM Adrian Zentarsky: no to much blood shooting out of their necks

3:09:47 AM Matthew DeGoey: oh, so he likes to make new holes to fuck?

3:09:50 AM Matthew DeGoey: wow

3:09:57 AM Matthew DeGoey: that's really gay and sadistic

3:10:03 AM Matthew DeGoey: anyway, i need to sleep

3:10:14 AM Matthew DeGoey: fyi, i'll likely blog this whole conversation at some point

3:10:23 AM Matthew DeGoey: because it's totally hilarious

3:11:07 AM Adrian Zentarsky: ya well fuck u and your fairy boy

3:11:25 AM Matthew DeGoey: you would want to, wouldn't you? snake has made you gay

3:11:49 AM Adrian Zentarsky: think what u want

3:12:00 AM Adrian Zentarsky: i get the hot spy chicks like he does

3:13:01 AM Matthew DeGoey: yeah, of course snake would want a reward. link is a real hero, does his duty, saves the day, asks for nothing in return

3:13:21 AM Adrian Zentarsky: wow link takes a poop big deal

3:13:33 AM Matthew DeGoey: you know that's not what i meant

3:13:49 AM Adrian Zentarsky: well it seems like thats all link does

3:13:59 AM Matthew DeGoey: right, right

3:14:10 AM Matthew DeGoey: well, i'm off to bed, see you at work tomorrow

3:14:14 AM Adrian Zentarsky: ok

3:14:15 AM Adrian Zentarsky: bye