With Great Power Comes Awesome Responsibility
Anyway, this is another reason I love my job: kicking kids out of the theater who sneak in.
Let me note some things here. First of all, I have never snuck into a movie, nor have I ever lied about my age to get into one I wasn't old enough for. Having said that, I'll say this: if kids sneak into a movie I'm watching, whether I see them or not, I won't kick them out so long as they're polite members of the audience. I did stupid things when I was a kid, so who am I to harp on kids for being stupid kids?
Thing is, some kids are stupider than others.
Take tonight for instance. About halfway into the movie, this kid suddenly starts to yell out random things and is carrying on, with people occasionally telling him to, "shhh!" Now see? Had he simply come in and watched the movie, I wouldn't have cared. Hell, I didn't even see him come in, so I wouldn't have even known about it to begin with! This kid, however, decides it's cool to yell things out, hootin', hollerin' and carryin' on, and oh, he's listening to music on his phone as well!
So I lean to my friend and say, "I'll be back in a minute."
I make my way up the stairs (this is in the UltraScreen by the way), and make it look like I exit the house, but I don't, and pop a squat in a vacant seat near the door. As I walk up, this kid's playing with his damn phone (one off my pet peeves in a theater), listening to music so loudly I can hear it even with the soundtrack blaring. I'm a reasonable man, though, and decide to give him a minute or two to change his ways.
I wait about 20 seconds, because he's still talking and making an ass out of himself, and people are starting to look in his direction.
So, I get up and walk over to his seat.
"Sir, do you have a ticket for this movie?"
Dumb kid has his music up so loud and is boppin' to it that he doesn't even hear me! His little brother ends up getting his attention.
"You have a ticket for this movie?"
Dumb mistake one: if you answer yes to a question asking if you have something, you should know beforehand that the followup question will be along the lines of, "may I see it?"
"May I see it?"
"Yeah, hold on a sec . . . ."
Kid starts fumbling around in his pants' pockets for it.
"It's too dark, I can't see to find it. Let's go up to where it's light." An honest request, so I agree.
We get up to where there's more light, but he still can't find it. So he kinda gets smart, or so he thinks.
"Man, I can't find it, but the manager dude that was standing at the door to the theater checked it before I came in, so yeah."
"Sir, there were no managers or ushers posted at the entrance to this house prior to the movie. You'll either need to show me a ticket, or you and your brother will have to leave."
He reaches into his back pocket, "Oh, here it is."
I'm expecting a piece of paper or something, so I motion for him to hand it to me, and he does. Wow, it's actually a ticket! No problem . . . if it's for this movie that is. So I bust out my phone to illuminate the front of it.
Drillbit Taylor. Too bad the movie that's in this house is Leatherheads.
"Sir, this is for Drillbit Taylor."
"Isn't that what this is?"
"No, it's Leatherheads. Drillbit Taylor is playing down the hall in house 3. Yeah, I'm gonna have to ask you and your brother to leave."
So he grabs his little brother, and heads out.
Now what did we learn here? First, this kid is a moron. Seriously, how could you not expect someone who asks you to prove you have a right to be in a movie to not show your ticket stub? Did you honestly think saying, "yes, I have a ticket," would make me say, "oh, okay, well, just keep it down then?" Second, if I'm in the theater as well, I would know if ushers were posted to check ticket stubs. I've already told you I work here, so I know the procedure, so I know they usually have the user stand in front of the doors until about 15 minutes into the film, and I'm never late for a start. Thirdly, if you've been in here since the start of the film, you should know from the opening credits if it's the right film or not.
Man, kids today can be so retarded sometimes. Oh well, makes for funny blog posts like this one!
Oh yeah, Leatherheads was pretty good. I wouldn't buy it on DVD the day it comes out, but it was humorous enough to make me consider it at some point, like when it's cheap in the bargain bin.